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Before his stand up routine, Aziz Ansari solicited $1500 bids to vote on whether the content of the show would be that of his smiley and goofy self, or a rough and angry alter-ego (not wholly unlike his Funny People character, Randy, which he has been known to bring out from time to time). I accidentally put too many zeros on my check, and he decided that $15,000 was enough for me to now have complete creative control of his routine for the evening. The resulting show was terrible. A wonderful lesson in the pitfalls of commissioning art.